You will see it when you believe it!
Have you ever wondered why people don’t treat you the way that you want them to and you are left wondering what it is that you did and cannot work it out? This post will take you through a few examples of how we establish ‘patterns’ or ‘behaviours’ in our lives and act them out without even realising it.
Once you can identify and relate to these types of patterns you can then change them and so change how people treat you. You will also learn valuable life skills to use for raising your kids and stopping them from following down your path of frustration and bewilderment.
I have been given the ability to trust in life and to work outside of my logical brain and embrace my higher vibrational self. Some people will know this as the “secret” or law of attraction of ‘oneness’, I am sure you have heard about this before. Whatever you choose to label it, it is simply a better way of living one’s life and standing in your own authenticity, being true to yourself. We all need to look inwards and work on ourselves before we can truly serve others.
Having not always been authentic to myself, in fact I was raised not to even consider “Me 1st” time as that would have been selfish of me, but to always put the needs of others before my own. If you are still reading this, then you know what I am talking about. This type of belief leads us to form some very poor behaviours moving forward with in our lives.
By following this belief, we set out to allow others to NOT treat us the way we want to be treated nor deserve to be treated, but instead, how they perceive how we want to be treated through our actions.
In my case, I never established the ground rules for me! This was just a belief that was formed by me, through what I observed happening in my life as a child. A belief is purely a thought that is repeated over and over until it is a reality in our minds. It becomes the TRUTH.
Seeing is believing
People often say, “I will believe it when I see it”, but in actual fact I think it is the other way around… you will see it when you believe it or you will see what you believe. We have to be open to seeing all we have been taught is not always the truth, before we can explore more deeply into who we are as individuals.
In my example, I learnt this way of life by observing my mother always putting herself aside and watching her spend her life looking after her children, cooking for the family, supporting my father in his career, ensuring the house was clean, that my brothers were fetched and carried to their sporting activities and I was not (I had to take the bus ….) What I learnt through all of this, was that as a woman, my time was less valuable than a mans (or a boys in the case of my brothers) and that the only way I would or could get love from others was to be doing things for them all the time, putting them first, even at the cost of myself. Can you resonate with this?
This was a pattern that perpetuated throughout my entire life and it made me into the people pleaser that I have been in the past. That pattern does not serve anyone and it certainly did not serve me as I was growing up. Nor did it help me in forming meaningful and lasting relationships in my life. Because I was not living authentically to who I was inside, I never felt happy living this way and so it worked very much against me for most of my life.
So, by putting yourself 1st and taking ‘Me 1st’ time, we not only teach others our value, but we are actually teaching your children how valuable they are. It’s about teaching your partner and friends about how much you value yourself and how important you are as a person. Your time matters and you as a person matter. When you can start loving yourself and taking care of yourself, only then will other people show you the time and value that you are truly worthy of.
‘Me 1st’ is not selfish. ‘Me 1st’ is all about knowing your worth, showing people you understand and knowing yourself. It’s about showing people how you deserve to be treated.
I know that I am not along in this journey that I have been through. It’s a path that many of us have had to walk or are still walking today. We need to ensure that we are teaching our daughters that they are worthy of respect and love and that our sons are taught to treat their partners with respect and love. That as human beings, we are all worthy of respect and love, it is not a sexuality based concept.
We can serve others, but from an authentic place and not through ill formed beliefs.
The true value of Me 1st
To become the true version of yourself, you need to first reclaim your ‘Me 1st’ time and truly discover who you are before you can receive your worth from others. You have to honour who you are, trust in who you are and love who you are before others can do the same to you.
I have now discovered that since taking the time and having ‘Me 1st’ time, that I have been able to form and establish more meaningful and genuine friendships that I had in the past. This is something that you can do if you find yourself living out this behaviour and not being treated the way you want.
I would love to hear your comments and thoughts around this topic and if you are practicing ‘Me 1st’ time.
If this is something you battle with, please feel free to reach out to me or join me in my Facebook group, Redefining Our Love, and I would be more than happy to help you achieve this outcome.
Love and light
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