I’m not going to lie: I used to be one of those people who loved a good old bitch and *confession time* I occasionally still do (!). Call it a rant or a gossip. A lot of people seem to positively (forgive the pun!) thrive on it. It gets their adrenaline pumping and once they got started, there is no end to the amount of bitching that can go down. It makes some people feel good, smug even.
As a self-proclaimed ranter, I used to “love to hate” certain people who rubbed me the wrong way.. Being sarcastic and slightly cynical became a way of life and a way of coping with life’s shittiness. My up bringing influenced this alot in many ways.
Being negative appears to have turned into an unspoken addiction.
It’s far easier being negative than seeing the good in people or life. Listening to the news is enough to send anyone into depression. When something doesn’t go well, it’s all too tempting to complain and blame. Never mind glass half empty, wat about completely empty???? It takes incredible willpower to stop the negative spin and think positively. The habit of gossiping or being negative has been formed over many years, BUT it is changable!
You can be the most positive person, but if you surround yourself with negative people, it’s very hard to stay bright and happy. Have you ever been with a group of people where there’s so much negative energy, it’s positively (that pun again!) palpable? All it takes is one person to start off negatively and before you know it, not only has everyone joined in, but you’re going along with it just to fit in. Doom and gloomers will drain the life out of you because misery loves company. A lot of people are negative, a lot of people say no to life and opportunities, and even more will try to bring you down to their level. Gossiping about others does no good, it only creates hurt. Those that gossip, seldom just do it about one person, it is how they behave to get the attention they need so beware, if they have told you something, they could very well be telling someone else something about YOU!
Think about the people in your life. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – John Rohn. How powerful is that quote? Now many of us can’t help who we live with or who our family is, but what we can do is choose to limit the time we spend with negative friends, colleagues, relatives or acquaintances. Think about how the key people in your life make you feel.
Nobody’s expecting you to start dumping long-term friends by the minute, just sharpen your awareness and manage the time you spend with them. Think small doses or not at all (if possible). There is a lot of virtual support out there, in case you’re not in a position to go out and meet new people. You can build your tribe through supportive Facebook groups or other social media platforms.
Many of us are raised to be pessimists, so negative thinking (and all that goes along with that, i.e. complaining, blaming, being filled with fear etc) turns into a habit or pattern. But it’s just a habit and habits can be unlearned, and replaced with healthy ones.
Negativity is also reinforced though the law of attraction. How does this work? Like attracts like. You will get more of what you focus on, so if it’s all negative, that’s exactly what you’re going to get back. It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Catch yourself each time a negative thought creeps in. My life coach suggested the elastic band technique for stopping unwanted thoughts. The way it works is snapping an elastic band on your wrist when you feel yourself getting negative. This is to act as a reminder that you can control your thoughts, Thoughts are just that, thoughts but they create our life patterns. Change your thoughts and you change how your interact and behave.
If you need help in ditching negativity, getting a coach could make all the difference. Get in touch to discuss this with me please. The future is bright! We live in the NOW so NOW is the time to make the necessary changes.
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